It's been a rough couple of days for me. 

Everything hurts/sucks and I'm getting really sick of it. 

Why can't he just be there? Why can't I find him? 

I suppose time has just run its course for us. 

On a lighter note, I plan my itinerary out for Europe on Tuesday. I'm just going to focus on losing these last 15lbs and saving up for that. I don't even need a man in my life right now, I should be focusing more on myself. Reading books again. Drinking tea again. 

Feeling beautiful again. 

Because god knows that's fucking difficult for me right now.

Things I ate today (I seriously love food):

This is my eeeeeaaasy recipe for deelish/cheap/more nutrional top ramen. Oriental package with ginger, garlic, half the seasoning and veggies. 

Lovelyness from Tsuda in Auburn <3 So fantastic.

 And a prezzie from my best girl <3

I need to stop listening to Bright Eyes and feeling like shit every night. I'm running out of cigarettes.

Miss Lindsay <3

So here's a few photos from my latest trip to Denver, Colorado and my darling Christina's birthday dinner.

My world needs more string lights.

I will never love again.

I dyed my hair dark dark and bought some lipstain.

My eyes pop like nobody's business. 

I'm out for blood.

You better watch your step, boy.

Oh my sleepy skin,
basking in the blissful delirium of your amber haze,
I watched the horizon melt into sepia.
The toasted fringes of light peeked through the trees
and kissed your face with the utmost exuberance.
Your radiance was second to none.

The eyelash on your cheek,
most unaware of the beauty it withheld,
fell like a feather into the abyss,
that moment held precious in its safekeeping for eternity.
A time capsule for midsummer nights forgotten. 

"You are the smell of dawn in the evening," he said.
"You are the taste of champagne in flat beer," he said.

Your love burned though me like wildfire on a summer day,
fiercely and all-consuming,
leaving no trace behind of the lover I once was.
Yet your devastation brings with it new growth.
I know the life you give.